Sunday, September 16, 2007

Beauty and the Beast

In my wildest dreams, I never imagined it could happen to us---an AKJ attack right in our very home.

Mocha-momma and I were in our bedroom at the end of the evening. We had the tv on, she had been on the internet looking for a recipe; I was alternating between watching Men in Black II and reading. She stood up to go out of the room, and then it happened.

It came silent and deadly, we had no idea it was there. MM suddenly let out a scream of pure terror. She was frozen in place, much like Lot's wife must have looked after being turned into the pillar of salt. I glanced away from the screen, even though it was a good part of the movie. Her trembling, quivering voice cried out to me to come rescue her.

I looked next to my bed for any kind of weapon to use against this spawn of satan, who had targeted us in its diabolical, evil plot. Luckily for me, I did have something. I grabbed the scrap of paper towel that was lying there and vaulted the queen size bed in one mighty leap. Just before it was able to attack and go at MM's throat, I pounced and got the paper towel over it just in time. One mighty squeeze from my powerful hands, and it was vanquished. The real King David couldn't have done it better.

That's one cricket who will no longer be able to target innocents in it's terror campaign. To the jihadists out there, I say never again. To Mocha-momma, to whom I had actually said "for crying out loud, it's a cricket, just pick it up," and got an earful from, I now say---don't go off on your husband, the blogger, if you don't want others to hear about your fear of tiny insects.

(p.s. this is all in jest, although I'm sure the payback will be hell)

1 comment:

Gino said...

get a cat.
they keep the crickets away.

well, actually, they play with them. they love crickets.
and the cast off/dismembered parts vacuum right up without so much as a smudge.