Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Waaaaaait for iiiiiiit: here comes legislation to prevent this from happening again

Teenager overdoses on coffee
A TEENAGE waitress had to be rushed to hospital after she overdosed on COFFEE.

Jasmine Willis, 17, downed seven double espressos while working at her dad’s cafĂ© after a late night.


But as the day wore on, she suffered a major “comedown” from her massive caffeine intake.

She began to laugh and cry at the same time while serving bewildered customers.


Her dad Gary told her to go home and lie down.

But hours later she woke with numb lips, drenched in sweat, hyperventilating and having heart palpitations.

You just gotta know that some twit in office somewhere is already planning how they're gonna protect the masses from this dangerous concoction. The liberal mind won't legislate against mass murder in the guise of personal choice, or against tough measures that could stop the spread of AID's because it might offend homosexuals; but, they'll jump right on the legislation bandwagon to protect people who were born with no common sense.

In related news, PETA is coming out with a new campaign: Decaffeinate your cat.


2 comments:

Gabrielle Eden said...

KD, you would come up with a photo like that!

Bike Bubba said...

Ben was right! You are a cat-blogger!

I actually knew a girl in college who did this, too. Not a big caffeine drinker, she tried to keep awake for an all-nighter with a few caffeine pills.

Thankfully, she was OK after a trip to the emergency room, but suffice it to say that she didn't make it all night.