Thank you Cathy for a great laugh. I almost couldn't answer the phone I was laughing so hard.
The teacher gave her fifth grade class this assignment: "Get your parents to tell you a story with a moral." The next day the kids came back and one by one they told their stories. There were all the regular stories, spilled milk; pennies saved; etc. But then the teacher realized that only Little Johnny in the back of the room had not provided a story with a moral. "Little Johnny, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and one day her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife."
"She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last one with her bare hands."
"Good Heavens!" exclaimed the horrified teacher. "What moral did you get from this horrible story?"
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking."