Thursday, June 07, 2007

They're even more insidious than we've imagined

Squirrels Stealing Wis. Cemetery Flags
Caretakers of the Oak Hill Cemetery noticed around Memorial Day that about 25 U.S. flags were missing from the graves of military veterans.But the haphazard pattern of theft and the fact that the wooden dowels remained intact led them to only one theory in the week since -- the thieves aren't human.

"It's a pretty solid conclusion that critters are stealing our flags," said cemetery foreman Mark Alberts.

Apparently, it's been a problem all around the state. Squirrels took flags in Oshkosh and used them to line their nests a few years ago, and a groundskeeper at Forest Hill Cemetery in Eau Claire discovered dozens of missing flags in a squirrel's nest in 2006.

What's next for this "species of peace?" When will America stand up and get tough in this war on terrorism? Next, they'll be stealing candy from babies. Is that what we want? I think we should start mandatory .22 training, and let our local militias start going after these rodents of rebellion.

1 comment:

Jonathan said...

This seals the deal on the AKJ. Not only do they want us dead, but they want us humiliated.

I have also come to the conclusion that the old Geico add with the squirels working together to flip a car is a reenactment of an actual AKJ event.