Wednesday, April 18, 2007

It's not as bad as having CTOBS

From FoxNews Out There

CAPE CORAL, Fla. (AP) — A woman arrested for shoplifting has blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome, authorities said.
Helen Gallo, 61, of Clearwater, was arrested Sunday after allegedly shoplifting from a Cape Coral grocery store, The Daily Breeze of Cape Coral reported.
Gallo reportedly told authorities that she could not wait in line because she has irritable bowel syndrome, according to the newspaper.
Gallo was charged with petit larceny and released Sunday from the Lee County jail on $500 bond.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome, or IBS. I imagine that would be a good excuse for any number of behavioral oddities a person may exhibit. It can't be quite as bad as having CTOBS, or Completely Torqued-off Bowel Syndrome.

As a public service, allow me to educate you further on this insidious condition:

The range of symptoms relating to IBS is relatively broad, but the main symptom is usually abdominal pain or discomfort associated with changes in bowel habits in the absence of any apparent structural abnormality. The pain is commonly relieved by defecating or modulated by other triggers of gut motility. There is generally no pain when patients are asleep. Symptoms usually start in young adulthood.

The best advice I can offer if you ever find yourself suffering from this condition: start carrying around a crossword puzzle book and a good pencil, that way you'll have something to occupy your time while you're sitting on the pot; and, keep a positive attitude and remember to 'whistle while you work.'

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