India Finally Fed Up With the Monkeying Around (Fox News Out There)
Battalions of simians have been damaging trees, uprooting plants, snatching food from children and terrifying passers-by, the Press Trust of India news agency quoted K. Malaisamy of the opposition All India Anna Dravida Munnetra Kazhgam as saying.
In other words, they're the radical Islamic terrorists of the ape world
"In the name of protection of monkeys, we cannot afford to be silent spectators to this perennial problem," Malaisamy said in the Rajya Sabha, the upper house of Parliament, according to PTI.
In other words: in the name of appeasing these terrorists, we can no longer go on pretending that Islam is a religion of peace.
Part of the problem is that devout Hindus believe monkeys are manifestations of the monkey god Hanuman and feed them with bananas and peanuts, which encourages them to frequent public places.
Part of the problem is that these terrorists think that by killing infidels they're going to get 72 virgins to do their bidding for them in paradise, so they're encouraged to be mass murderers.