Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Now here's something you don't read about every day

DEEP PAIN PIZZA: MAN 'CUT OFF HIS OWN PENIS IN RESTAURANT'...
HORRIFIED diners watched in shock as a maniac sliced off his manhood in a crowded pizza restaurant.

The 35-year-old Pole burst into the Zizzi eaterie in central London and grabbed a knife from the kitchen.He then leapt on a table and dropped his trousers as customers fled screaming.A witness said: “There was blood everywhere. Everyone ran out of the place.

”Surgeons battling to save the severed willy tried to sew it back on in the first UK op of its kind.

Quick-thinking cops recovered the organ from the restaurant floor after subduing its crazed owner with CS gas.

They had to point out that the guy was a Pole. They couldn't have just said some crazed guy, and left the rest to our imagination. The only guess I can make is the guy was ticked off because the pizzaria didn't offer Polish sausage as a topping option. Why is it always Italian sausage?

Re: the point about subduing the crazed owner of the lopped off willy---can a man really be considered the owner of his own penis? He didn't just purchase it somewhere along the line did he? I can hear the overhead announcement, "Would the owner of a lopped off penis please come and claim it at the checkout counter."

Another thing I have a hard time accepting is that this is the first time doctors in the UK had to reattach a man's willy. You're trying to tell me that in the entire history of Britain, at least in recent times, this type of situation hasn't arisen. Don't they have socialized medicine in the UK? If socialized medicine isn't gonna be prepared to reattach a penis, I don't want it here in the USA. I don't plan on lopping off my own; but, you never know when accidents may happen.

2 comments:

SolaMeanie said...

Oh, my.

Did you actually refer to "Polish sausage" in light of that story? I am going to have a very hard time eating pizza now.

I already hated the very sight of bratwurst.

Dan S. said...

With all due respect, the writer of the story was correct.

It was a "35 year old Pole" (...that was formerly attached to its 35 year old owner).