A couple of gems from FoxNews Out There section

Out There

New Underwear Promises to Ease Pain of Passing Gas
Letting loose in public may become less of a social faux pas with a new kind of underwear that promises to keep the air flatulence-free.
"Anti-farty pants" vow to stifle those nasty odors and help gassy individuals "relieve the pain without the shame."
Under-Tec underwear makers have designed new "gas eater" underpants, an airtight undergarment that helps keep flatulence under wraps, reported Britain's The Sun newspaper.

I can't believe I didn't come up with this first. I don't need it of course. I'm always reminded of a spring fresh field of aromatic wildflowers when I pass gas; but there are others in my household who could use this; as I'm sure there are in yours as well.

Soccer Fan Stricken With Permanent Picture of Male Member
Thanks to a disgruntled tattoo artist, one dismayed soccer fan received a dirty picture permanently penned to his back, instead of the tribute to his favorite team he was expecting.
The young fan apparently approached a local ink artist in Argentina and asked him for the logo of the Boca Junior soccer team to be tattooed on his back, reported Ananova.com.
The tattoo artist, however, was an avid fan of the opposing team, and decided to play a nasty prank on his customer. Instead of the team logo, the artist penned a picture of the male genitalia to the man's back.

Horse Racing: the sport of kings.
Soccer: the sport of ding-a-lings.