Mocha-momma has been very kind to allow me to drive her Town & Country van to work for a while now. The Saturn needs some more work done on it; but, until we get the extra cash for the repairs, I don't want to drive it far and have something happen on a back road. She works right in town, so she's been driving it to work and back.
The van has heated seats in it, and to say they work just fine is an understatement. The first time I used that function I started to wonder where the smell of burning flesh was coming from; it turned out to be my rear-end. We actually took it in about a year ago on a recall, because evidently they were having cases of drivers getting their derrieres burned because the seats were overheating. Even with them checking it out, I still can't believe how hot it gets on the high setting.
So, on my way home tonight I did some thinking: I could actually cook my own breakfast as I'm driving to work in the morning. I figured I could throw some bacon down between my legs, maybe crack a couple of eggs, and by the time I get to work it's cooked. I can turn on the passenger seat and maybe throw on some hashbrowns as well. I usually get into the parking lot a few minutes early anyway and listen to the radio; I'd just eat it right there.
OK, so now what I need to do is come up with some unique utensils to use, slap a catchy name on them, and find some marketing genius (Night Writer) to help me get it going---I'm all set. Or, on the food side, we could develop some type of packaging that would allow the food to cook better (just like microwave packaging); after all, eggs might stick to your pants, that's no good. We could go to Chrysler with the idea and work out a deal with them. Customers could buy the accessories at the same time they purchase their vehicles. Uncle Ben has mocked my entrepreneurial ideas in the past; but I think this may actually fly.
(p.s. to you skeptics, don't underestimate the idiocy of the American public, nonsense sells)
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2 comments:
Hmmm, sounds like you're talking about a real chafing dish. It's a clever thought, but not totally original; the Mongols (Tartars) used to slap a raw piece of meat under their saddles in the morning and after a hard day's ride the meat was tenderized, well-seasoned and partly cooked - this later became known as Steak Tartare.
As for your application, this is going to take some work to get over the hump, so to speak. The messy part could be mitigated by wearing pants treated with the new wrinkle-free, no-stain chemicals so you might be able to get a cross-marketing tie-in with Savanne or somebody like that, and they could even offer cargo pants with special reflective lining in the cargo pockets to keep baked potatoes warm.
The biggest problem, however, is that it's going to be hard to push the appeal of food cooked in proximity to one's butt. "Rump Roast" is about as close as you want to get, though if we were in the UK we might get away with calling this "The Buttery"; given what I saw in the latest British Advertising Awards, this might just be freaky enough to appeal - they do eat Marmite, after all. Or perhaps we could make disaffected youth the target market and call the product "Butt-Munch" or "Crotch-Pockets", which might actually give them a reason to wear their pants so low. Not sure that this is a good segment to target since I see this as a product for people going to work which means - hello - they have jobs.
Other product names off the top of my head (perhaps the wrong reference for this product): Pasta in Your Pants, Soup to Nuts, or Tush-ables. We can encourage people to try our entire line of "Seat-and-Eat" foods.
Too bad Quizno's has already locked up the "Mmm, mmm, mmm-mmm, mmm - Toasty!" slogan.
oh that laughter that's such good medicine. too funny!
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