You know your a redneck if: you've been to more than one monster truck rally

Speak Now or Face the Wrath of Grave Digger
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. (AP) — Throbbing throttles, pumping pistons and traction action ground to a halt as a longtime lover of monster trucks married her sweetheart in a dirt arena, amid rowdy spectators and crushed cars.
Ashley Barbour — wearing a red dress and a white veil — rode a motorcycle into the ceremony Saturday at Monster Jam in the Kern County Fairgrounds.
Barbour, 24, and husband Michael Box, 31, had the honor of saying "I do" in front of the monster of all trucks, Grave Digger, as winners of Meathead's Monster Truck Marriage, a contest sponsored by Bakersfield radio station KRAB-FM.

I'm not going to take any shots at this young lady's idea of the perfect wedding ceremony. It was the happiest day of her life, and I'm happy it worked out for her.

I took my son, when he was about 5 years old, to a monster truck rally at the metrodome in Minneapolis---it was probably one of the most ridiculous days (at least a few hours of the day) in my life. I thought it might be entertaining on some sort of level; but it turned out to be just one huge disappointment. It started out with just a bunch of head to head races with some toddler motorcyclists and then some mini pick-ups. OK, that killed an hour of time; but aha, now it's time for the main event. The monsters will take center stage.

First monster truck comes out. I'm excited, I've never seen this before. Off it goes--- 20 seconds, on its side. Bring on a crane to lift it up and get it off to the side. So, 20 minutes later, # two truck goes onto the course---20 seconds later, it's on its side. Bring on the crane, lift it up and get it off to the side. So, 20 minutes later, # three truck goes onto the course; 20 seconds later it's on its side----you see a pattern here. This happened to every single truck except one: Goldberg---he managed to stay on the course and complete the full time allowed.

What was even more ridiculous: the key matchup was between Goldberg and Grave Digger, they were like the Frazier and Ali of the rally. Well Grave Digger tipped over in about 15 seconds; Goldberg finished the course and actually was the most exciting to watch---they called it a tie in the end. Talk about rigged.

So, once in my lifetime is enough for Monster Truck Rallies. Believe me, if you get a quirky desire to go see one---save your money; find some guy in the neighborhood with a really loud truck or motorcycle, without a muffler, stick your ear right next to it and have him rev it up for 3 straight hours; that's all you'd get out of it anyway, some ringing in your ears.