MOLD Convention Report____part 2

Kingdavid here, still braving the exposure of MOLD (MN Org. of Liberal Democrats) at their convention in the Metrodome. I got out of the Wellstonian’s church service without to much damage to my psyche. I was feeling a little thirsty and hungry, so I decided to hit a concession stand and grab something to eat.

I got there and started talking to the guy running the counter. Turns out he was a right-leaner as well, just making a few extra bucks. He said he almost wished he was wearing a garlic necklace to ward off the effects of being around so many liberals. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw what they were selling for concessions; which gave him quite a laugh.

He told me that when the organizers set it up, they were threatened with a law suit by PETA if they served any meat during the event. They were going to work with that, but then some group who opposed corporate farming threatened to sue if anything other than organically grown produce was used. They were going to go with that; then a group who only approved of raw vegetables threatened to sue if they sold any cooked produce. Evidently they were threatened with lawsuits by a score of other nutcase organizations if they did anything that went against their own personal idiotic, er, idiosyncratic beliefs.

I thought, what’s the deal, aren’t these people open and tolerant in their thinking towards people who have different tastes and beliefs. I told that to this guy and he just laughed; they’re liberals he said, what did you expect? Well, they had to serve something, so the organizers got all these groups together and they did come to a consensus and agreed on an appropriate menu.

So, the choices I had to eat was as follows: plain tofu, tofurkey , tofu pizza, fried tofu, tofu salad/with no greens, tofu on a stick, and some sort of tofu concocted beverage. I passed.

I decided I’d run across the street during a break and grab something to eat. They had breakout sessions going on all over, so I just ducked into a room to see what was going on there. I sat down next to a small group of individuals and began to eavesdrop. One of the people there talked about how they sued their school district so that the valedictorian couldn’t reference the Bible in their speech. Another person bragged about how they were able to get a speaker banned at their workplace because this person had made controversial remarks concerning conservative beliefs. A third person told how they got the ACLU to prohibit a 2nd grader in her daughter’s class from putting ‘I love Jesus’ on an art project they were doing.

They were all so proud and were patting each other on the back when the session started. I still wasn't quite sure what kind of session this was, imagine my surprise when it turned out to be “How to battle conservative censorship and promote free thinking in America.” Will the lunacy never end? Stay tuned for next report.