The Far Wright

I done made my move

2007-10-17T19:43:00.000-05:00

www.thefarwright.wordpress.com

Hello my friends. Please start visiting this site right now. I'm going to shut this down soon.

The Few, The Proud, The Sweepers

2007-10-16T21:10:00.000-05:00

This guy on the end should be getting some demerits---out of uniform; and look at the lax way he's holding that broom. I think he needs to march some 'tours.'

I went to the Air Force Academy right out of high school. Although I transferred to Gustavus 2nd semester in my sophmore year, I still have some great memories of that experience.

On the first night of being in the dorms, after basic training, I was put into a three man room. The next morning there would be an inspection, so we were busting our butts trying to get the room in order, including the floor, which we had to get spotless. Well, about midnight they come in and told me two seniors had each been given their own room, and that they were moving them in together; thus, I would get that room with another guy who was also in a three man room.

I had just spent hours cleaning that room, and the room they dumped me into had nothing done to it. My new roomie and I spent the next few hours with toothbrushes trying to get the floors clean. The powers that be in our squadron assured us that we would not get in trouble because of what happened.

Well, the next day, we're standing at attention waiting for the inspection, when we see an officer standing outside looking at our room, in particular the floor. Next thing we know, we're getting demerits, and had to march 6 tours. That's 6 one-hour blocks marching in a square on a Saturday morning, with rifles at shoulder arms.

I hate to imagine what we would have gotten had they not taken care of us so well. (lousy upperclassmen)

The other white meat

2007-10-16T14:34:00.000-05:00

Top Lakeland restaurant serves up Peking duck-style squirrel pancakes
A top restaurant is serving up free grey squirrel pancakes to hungry diners.
Peking duck-style squirrel wraps are being offered to diners at The Famous Wild Boar Hotel.

The partnership has killed 4,521 greys since January, and Lord Redesdale said: "The problem is that when we catch and dispatch greys, there is nothing we can do with them.

So heck, why not slice 'em up and make them into pancakes. I like their thinking.

"We would like to be a supplier of grey squirrels. With an estimated five million greys in the country, there are enough of them to go round."

Sounds like full-time work available to me. I wonder if they're taking applications.

Forget the fancy-smancy atmosphere; lets start a fast-food chain and market it to the masses; no more IHOP, we're talking IHOS--International House of Squirrel

Is that Shadrac, Meshac, or Abednego? No wait, it's JP

2007-10-16T12:13:00.000-05:00

Is this Pope John Paul II waving from beyond the grave? Vatican TV director says yes
The image, said by believers to show the Holy Father with his right hand raised in blessing, was spotted during a ceremony in Poland to mark the second anniversary of his death.

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into... the Twilight Zone.

I think it looks a little more like Lawrence Welk--a one anda two anda....

Danger kingdavid, Danger

2007-10-16T07:53:00.000-05:00

Forecast: Sex and Marriage With Robots by 2050
Humans could marry robots within the century. And consummate those vows.

"My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots," artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands told LiveScience.

My forecast, in 2051 the GLBT will be suing to allow marriage between same sex androids.

At first, sex with robots might be considered geeky, "but once you have a story like 'I had sex with a robot, and it was great!' appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I'd expect many people to jump on the bandwagon," Levy said

I can think of a lot of other terms I'd consider, not just geeky. I didn't realize Cosmo held such influence; I wonder what Psychology Today will say about it.

I remember when I was a kid, I had a big crush on Annette Funicello; but, I also liked this character---maybe I was just ahead of my time.

Quite the turn on heh? The only thing: reprogram the voice to Annette's; and put on some Mickey Mouse ears.

Big Deal, you know what we'd call this in MN

2007-10-16T07:50:00.000-05:00

Fla. Fisherman Catches 844-Pound Shark

Walleye bait.

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world (reason # 3,448) (this is becoming a regular feature)

2007-10-15T15:04:00.000-05:00

Miley mania makes moms hoppin' mad
Sky-high concert ticket prices for tween queen Miley Cyrus are being investigated.

If you haven't seen this story yet, take any food or foreign objects out of your mouth before reading this next bit.

It could be worse. On ticket broker StubHub.com the average resale price for the Minnesota show is $161, compared with $239 for all stops on Cyrus' tour, said Jessica Erskine, a spokesperson for the broker.

If you have a daughter, anywhere from pre-k to high school, and have Disney Channel, I'm sure you've seen the show. What a tough call for parents---feed your family for a month or two, or take your kids to go see a concert that you can get on video, or buy a $15 CD.

I wouldn't pay this much to take Hannah to go see Barney. Heck, I wouldn't pay this much to go see the Beatles Reunion Tour, even if John and George came back from the grave.

The insanity isn't so much that they're charging these kind of prices; the insanity is that parents are bending over backwards and paying those prices. I just bought Hannah a poster from High School Musical 2; $4.25, I hope she appreciates it, because that's about my limit for this type of entertainment.

Weeeeeee are the champions, my friend

2007-10-14T17:51:00.000-05:00

AND WEEEEEEEEEE'LL KEEP ON FIGHTING TILL THE END
BECAUSE WE CAN'T KEEP A LEAD
WE CAN'T KEEP A LEAD
CAUSE WE'RE THE (VI)QUEENS

I can't believe I didn't take in to account years of experience. Seven minutes left in the game, the Queens are up by 14, and I got cocky. I was just sending off an e-mail to Nightwriter and Uncle Ben, and at the end I said: "7 minutes to 'Start razzing Gino' season."

I'm old enough, and have watched the Vikings long enough that I should know better. Except for maybe the years of the Purple People Eaters, they've always been a team that if they have the opposing team at 3rd down and 38, they'll give up a 39 yard play. They always seem to find a way to make the most inexperienced and/or mediocre quarterbacks look like the second coming of Joe Montana.

Doggone it, I was looking forward to giving Gino a hard time. Yeah, the Queens won; but now it's like kissing your sister. It's a kiss, but there's just no pleasure in it.

Oh man, I had the funniest dream.

2007-10-12T06:57:00.001-05:00

You won't believe this. I dreamt that I was going out to check my e-mails and saw a story that Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize. Imagine that. There couldn't be a panel anywhere that has that many stupid people on it. (not counting the O.J. jury)

There are always 2 types of people:

2007-10-11T19:30:00.000-05:00

Those who view this as an ahhhhhhhh moment

And those who view this as a 1 shot, take em both down moment.

Those who would fall for this:

And those who wouldn't and throw him in the doghouse

Those who would hold it until they made it, however long that might take

And those who would find a convenient spot and go over the wall

Those who would pop in Lynard Skynard

And those who would pop in Barry Manilow

I'm sure every MOB member must be aquiver with anticipation over this.

2007-10-11T12:54:00.000-05:00

Not since this:

will the arrival of a musical sensation cause such a stir in a major U.S. city. Yes, we're talking about the announced concert date of:

Yes, Barry The MANilow is coming:

Manilow to leave Vegas for Xcel Center on Jan. 11

Tickets go on sale Monday at 10 a.m. through Ticketmaster.

I wonder what Minneapolis/St. Paul "community" comprise his biggest fan base? I imagine the Lolas and Ricos will be crawling out of the woodwork for this concert.

I think I'll pass. I just think it might be a letdown after seeing Lynard Skynard; unless, maybe Barry's added Freebird to his repertoire.

A 'Ban the Fighting Sioux' story is in the headlines, must be October.

2007-10-10T19:31:00.000-05:00

U of M won't reconsider sports ban over 'Fighting Sioux' nickname
GRAND FORKS, N.D. — A University of Minnesota policy discouraging the school's athletic teams from competing against the University of North Dakota in any sport except hockey will stand.

The school's Advisory Committee on Athletics said in February that it would reconsider the policy, which was prompted by UND's Fighting Sioux nickname. Committee chairman Douglas Hartmann now says that won't happen.

The decision could hurt UND during the five-year transition to NCAA Division I athletics in all sports that it embarked on last year. UND already plays hockey in Division I, and has a long-standing rivalry with Minnesota in that sport.

UND associate athletic director Betty Ralston says the Minnesota committee'! s decision is unfortunate but not surprising.

Like a cancer that continually comes out of remission, we have yet another 'Fighting Sioux' story. I've already posted on this topic 4 times in the last year. HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE

What it boils down to is a group of liberals at the U of M are trying to impose their own values on another university; punishing student athletes from another school because they have a mascot that doesn't sit well with their own guilt-ridden anxieties about being white; and it's about trying to win some tiny little skirmish for an ethnic group, when that group's real problems and battles are far, far greater than whether or not a university has an Indian for a mascot.

The head bozo of this latest idiocy out of Looney World is Doug Hartmann, a sociologist from the UofM. Mr Hartmann of course has to label this a racist issue because, quite frankly, he'd be out of a job, and wouldn't get on the radio and TV, and wouldn't get his books published if he couldn't find racism in every nook and cranny of culture. Here's one of his quoteable quotes:

“Whites have invented subtle ways to convince themselves that race isn’t a problem in America.”-“The Meaning of White,” Time Magazine, September 11, 2006

And you know what Mr. Hartmann, liberal whites have invented 'in your face' ways to try and convince themselves, and everyone else, that racism is only caused by whites, and go out of their way to find race issues in every single event or circumstance they can find.

The simple facts of this mascot issue are: no university or it's teams are going to choose a mascot for the purpose of denigrating an ethnic group; rather, they're chosen because they want to identify with the characteristics that the symbol represents, or proud of what it means to their area. What's the difference between the Fighting Irish and the Fighting Sioux? The logo itself was created by an Indian. From what I've read, the majority of the Sioux people themselves approve of the logo. (as is the case with the Seminoles in Florida, who gave the right to Florida State to use their name, and are proud of it)

I think they should just have the Sioux tribe in ND take a vote. If the majority are OK with the logo, then all the liberal white bozos in MN should just back off and mind their own bees wax. If they vote goes against, then ND should go ahead and change their name; if they want to denigrate a group, they could choose the Fighting Liberal Loons.

Check out JR's first car (when he turns 16)

2007-10-10T14:35:00.001-05:00

What happens when you cross a meth addict and an auto engineer. This eyesore.

Nissan Unveils Futuristic Electric Car
TOKYO — For all those drivers that hate parallel parking and anything else that requires the reverse gear, Nissan (NSANY) could one day have the car for you.

The leading Japanese carmaker recently unveiled the Pivo 2, a battery-powered concept car with a fully rotating cabin that makes going backwards obsolete, since the driver can turn to face the direction they need to go.

I hope it has room for Astro. (if you're under the age of 40 you probably don't get this)

I'm sure JR would much prefer one of these Fisher Price cars over this.

I know what to get MM for Christmas

2007-10-09T14:47:00.001-05:00

Rare blue diamond smashes auction record
HONG KONG (AFP) - A rare, flawless blue diamond has been snapped up at a Sotheby's sale here for 7.98 million US dollars, making it the most expensive gemstone in the world per carat ever bought at auction.

I'll make them an offer they can't refuse. Then, I'll spend hundreds of thousands of dollars insuring it, I'll lock it away somewhere where thieves can't get to it, I'll spend thousands of dollars on security to protect the place I locked it up at, I'll let my wife wear it once or twice a year, just so we won't tempt anyone to kill us for it; and I'll do it all so I can say I own the world's most expensive polished rock.

Either that; or, I'll take the money and feed Ecuador for a year.

Blue Moon,

2007-10-09T12:40:00.000-05:00

you saw me standing alone,
Without a dream in my heart,
Without a love of my own,
Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for,
You heard me saying a prayer for,
Someone I could care for,

If you're into pyramids, check it out: http://www.pyramidcam.com/

Trivia: who sang the song in 1961 (no googling)

CRIKEY, somebody buy this roo a lottery ticket

2007-10-09T12:38:00.000-05:00

We are looking for a starter guitar for Hannah; I was thinking more along the lines of an M16 model though

2007-10-08T14:48:00.001-05:00

Sorry, Guitars are not allowed on these premises.

When pets go bad

2007-10-08T12:33:00.000-05:00

Georgia Man Gored to Death by Deer
BALL GROUND, Ga. — A man has been found dead at his home in Ball Ground after apparently being attacked by a deer.
The body of 66-year-old John Henry Frix was found around 8 p.m. yesterday inside the deer's pen on his property. Cherokee County Sheriff's Sergeant Jay Baker says he had been gored several times in the upper body by a deer's antlers.

The deer was one of several Frix kept on his property. His relatives told sheriff's deputies the deer had recently been acting very aggressive, probably due to rut -- the period when deer mate.

I don't blame the deer. I'm sure most of us guys have gone through the same feelings.

I also know the dangers that are inherent in pet ownership. I myself have been subject to some near fatal attacks. One time, one of our guinea pigs nibbled away on my finger, which could have led to bleeding and possible death; or, it could have just as easily gone after my throat. It's also a danger when, at night, an obese cat will come walking across my face as I sleep.

We have the Roadhouse Blues no longer

2007-10-07T21:38:00.000-05:00

One of the guys we sat with at the YWAM banquet last Friday was from Texas. We were talking about our interest in Texas, because of relatives and all the vacations we've taken down there, and the topic of our favorite restaurant naturally came up---Texas Roadhouse. We told him how disappointing it was that there were none in MN. He said he thought he had seen one recently in Coon Rapids---oh be still our beating hearts. We had forgotten to check on it when we got home; but, when we saw him today at a church function he confirmed it. There was one built, probably 30 miles from our house, and we didn't know about it until now. They have a cow with our name on it, and we're going to get out there as soon as we can.

And the polar bear shall lie with the sled dog. Is that in Isaiah?

2007-10-06T21:28:00.000-05:00

Got these in an e-mail. They are from a professional photographer: Norbert Rosing

Minnesota, October 6, 90 degrees; maybe Al Gore's right, (nah, that must be the sloppy joes talking)

2007-10-06T20:38:00.000-05:00

What a great fall day. This is a kick-off weekend for our church. Last week we had our annual meeting. This weekend we're starting some new Sunday morning ministries, we have a concert of prayer tomorrow night; and today, we started it off with a fun-filled afternoon at the home of a church family. It's the same place we went to pick apples a few weeks ago. The day started with some shopping, and then making 15 pounds of sloppy joes for the gathering.

Not sure I'm ready for a 110 pound lapdog. He wanted to come up, but thankfully held off.

As much as she'd want one, I don't think we're going to be adding one of these to our menagerie; however, we are going to add one of these:

Yep, this little guy will be coming home with us in a few more weeks. As I write, MM is putting together a list of possible names. Suggestions will be welcome. I'm not thrilled with her choices so far.

Last night MM and I had the great pleasure of being invited to the annual banquet for YWAM, Youth With a Mission. A couple from our church sponsored a table and invited us to join them for the evening. YWAM has a training center just on the outskirts of Rockford; on the property of some rich guy who had an estate/hobby farm in the past. They train and support kids and adults to go on mission trips all around the world. A couple from our marriage group had one of their daughters go through the program and she spent 18 months in Argentina. I actually wore a tie---MM had to get a picture of that---which is an extremely rare occurrence in my life. (I hope the person who invented that tourniquet of torture paid dearly for it)

What can we deduce from this set of pictures?

2007-10-05T22:21:00.000-05:00

How about this---pug owners really need to get a life! We had a pug, AKA name---The Pug of Monte Christo, or just Monte. I don't recall we ever subjected him to dressing up in silly costumes. I guess we just weren't good pug owners.

I received an e-mail with pictures of dogs dressed up for halloween, and half of them were pugs. It just seemed kind of weird to me.

Could be a good thing---Could be a bad thing

2007-10-05T06:48:00.001-05:00

It's becoming a tradition. We go to the homecoming week bonfire, see friends, get some snacks, sit and watch the fire department try and start a fire for about half an hour. A fire department that can't actually get a fire going is a good thing isn't it? Well, as always, they eventually did get the thing going.

You can kinda-sorta see it going here. They went back to the drawing board only about 4 times.

That's what we're talking about.

She's got spirit, how about you.

Isn't this why we have kids

2007-10-04T13:47:00.000-05:00

Jonathan, I'm ready for my jello.

Robots may aid aging Japanese population
TOKYO - If you grow old in Japan, expect to be served food by a robot, ride a voice-recognition wheelchair or even possibly hire a nurse in a robotic suit — all examples of cutting-edge technology to care for the country's rapidly graying population.

Operating a joystick with his chin, developer Shigehisa Kobayashi maneuvered the arm toward a block of silken tofu, deftly getting the fork to break off a bite-sized piece. The arm then returned to a preprogrammed position in front of the mouth, allowing Kobayashi to bite and swallow.

I wouldn't use my own arms to try and eat a piece of silken tofu. What I want to know is can the thing cut through a slab of New York strip and dip it some steak sauce? I know the big question on Gino's mind: can it twirl up some spaghetti and get it into your mouth without spilling sauce all over your shirt?

I don't know about this, it would seem like a lot of work. How about just putting the plate in front of me, then putting my face right on the plate, and I could just gobble up as much as I wanted. (in between breaths)

Although my beard is turning white, (not my hair, yet, thank you) I'm still a ways away from getting to the age where these type of considerations will have to be made. I think as equally important a consideration would be what do you do with the food once it reaches the end of the whole digestive process. Hmm, that Depends.

Call me the Commish

2007-10-04T06:49:00.000-05:00

Calling all virtual golfers. Check out this site.

The World Golf Tour PGA.com Charity Challenge

If you get yourself registered, let me know. We can start our own league. It will be for fun; but, we could also each throw a $million into a pot and have payouts, just like the pros. (I did mention it would be a virtual $million didn't I)

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world (reason #888,888)

2007-10-03T18:14:00.000-05:00

Study: Strippers Make More in Tips When Most 'Fertile'
A new study from the University of New Mexico found that, on average, strippers make the most money in tips during the most “fertile” days of their monthly cycles, Psychology Today reports.

Dancers made about $70 an hour during their peak period of fertility, versus about $35 while menstruating and $50 in between. Researchers attributed the fluctuation in tips to the changes in body odor, waist-to-hip ratio, and facial features that occur throughout a woman's cycle.

If anybody, ANYBODY, can offer me a reasonable explanation as to why this study needed to be conducted in the first place, and just exactly how it is suppose to benefit mankind, I will give you a $70 tip, no matter how bad you might stink. (that these researchers are completely insane, along with university officials who gave the go ahead, will not be accepted for an answer, that is simply too obvious)

I'm getting a little teary-eyed

2007-10-03T17:56:00.000-05:00

I've learned the error of my ways. In the past, I've come down pretty hard on squirrels; but, after hearing the reports of undercover squirrels risking life and tail to infiltrate Iran (true, according to Iranian sources) and now seeing this member of a crack special rodent team getting a medal, I've come to the understanding that you can't judge a whole species by the annoying habits of 99.9% of them. It almost gives me hope that liberals could actually turn it around and try and do something for the good of this country now and then.

Only here: you won't see Tiger Woods hawking this product

2007-10-03T15:04:00.000-05:00

You ever wonder what kind of products you'd endorse if you were a celebrity. I don't, are you nuts. If I would hawk a product though, this would be one of them.

The Fisher Space Pen

We saw one of these a few years ago at Office Depot, and got it as a present for my father-in-law. He loves these kind of marvels. I got one for the express purpose of doing crossword puzzles laying down on my back in bed. The thing writes upside down, and it writes everytime/firsttime you lay it on a piece of paper. No more having to find a scratch paper and make circles until the ink starts flowing. The only concern is that they cost around $20; so, unlike every other pen I've had in my life, I try desperately hard not to lose it. I'd duct-tape it to myself if I had to. This one is the bullet model; but they have all kinds of styles.

The lunatics are in the hall

2007-10-03T13:13:00.000-05:00

Pink Floyd nailed that on the head.

A model presents a pasta dress creation by Hungarian designer Virag Toth during a fashion show at an Italian restaurant in Budapest September 27, 2007.

What's with these looney designers. Why can't they just stick with normal fabrics in their creations---like duct tape.

Animal rights activist Harmony Qura lays spattered with fake blood in a giant meat tray during a protest to highlight the plight of factory farm animals on World Farm Animals day on the National Mall in Washington, October 2, 2007. The day is observed in an attempt to put an end to animal suffering at factory farms and slaughterhouses. (UNITED STATES)

Millions of human beings are being slaughtered around the world; but these people are whining about cows.

Artist Tim Patch, who calls himself 'Pricasso', paints a picture of Olga Braude using his penis at the Sexpo in Johannesburg, South Africa, September 28, 2007. Patch has painted portraits of some of the worlds most famous people including George Bush and Queen of England.

Why does art seem to attract such a large number of lunatics? I'm gonna start painting using a body part as well--something different though. Rear-ends has been done. Has anyone ever seen any ear-art?

The little old lady from Okinawa has a new ride

2007-10-02T18:02:00.000-05:00

Mazda's Taiki concept car at the company's research facility in Yokohama, Japan

So here's the deal, we'll all chip in an imaginary $1,000. The first person to actually see one of these on the road in the U.S. will win the imaginary pot. I'm afraid we're gonna have to disqualify Gino though, because he lives in California. We all know that alien UFO's are always buzzing around California, as it's their home base on Earth. One of their vehicles could easily be mistaken for one of these.

Microscopic Waste Management System

2007-10-02T12:50:00.000-05:00

We always take the little things for granted.

This photo won the Most Bizarre award at The 49th International Conference on Electron, Ion and Photo Beam Technology and Nanofabrication Bizarre/Beautiful Micrograph Contest. Takahashi Kaito took this photograph of integrated circuit fabrication at 15,000X magnification using an electron microscope while on the job at SII Nanotechnology Inc, Oyama, Shizuoka, Japan.

Teach an old dog new tricks

2007-10-01T20:50:00.000-05:00

I've always believed in the concept of learning just for the sake of learning. I enjoy reading and learning about pretty much anything; so, imagine my joy when I found this class offered in our local community education's fall listing. I was looking up a guitar class that we might try and get Hannah in, when I saw this:

Deer Cutting for Dummies

This class will teach the basic skills to cut your own deer. We will show the proper care of the deer from field dressing to skinning and cleaning of the carcass. Next we will show how to cut your deer for various cuts of meat. We will also seam the rounds to show how to cut it for jerky or steaks and roasts. The class will use a “road-kill deer” for hands on experience. Included in the fee is a basic step-by-step book for quick reference. Deer cutting supplies will be available for purchase. Swen-Dell Deer instructors have years of meat cutting experience.

Cost: $40
Location; RHS Wood Shop

Cutting up a deer in the high school wood shop class!!! I think I'd be able to cut up just about any type of animal if I had a room full of power tools available to me.

Gino: this is a good way to pick up some extra bucks, get a hold of your local community ed and offer to teach a class. I actually tried it one time myself; although it was about doing crosswords, not slicing up Bambi after she was nailed by a car. Nobody signed up though---go figure; I'd think there would be more people who do crosswords than go out deer hunting.

If you're ever in Houston, visit the new Texas Aviary

2007-10-01T17:43:00.000-05:00

Just call me before you go, and I'll give you directions to my brother Steve's house. It was actually the desire of his wife, Lori. I'm not sure she fully considered the ramifications of getting 4 birds in a house that is habitated by a cop with multiple handguns at his disposal. Oh well.

They named them Arnie, Jack, Tiger and Annika. They also have multiple dogs, two of them being Bogey and Birdie. Can you tell---my brother's a big soccer fan.

When we visit again, I'm expecting there to be some minor changes in the house---such as new flooring provided by the Houston Chronicle.

Move over NASCAR, there's a new fastest sport in the world, and it's in China

2007-10-01T15:08:00.000-05:00

Fans come out to cheer their favorite: Chang-kai Earnhardt

Continued fallout from the Bear's collapse

2007-10-01T13:05:00.000-05:00

Italian archbishop closes convent after nuns come to blows

They don't say it in the story, but I've heard the real reason for this closing.

It seems that the Mother Superior was a Lions fan, and she started talking some trash at a few of the nuns, who themselves were big Bears fans.

In related news, a convent in Norway was reprimanded for burning an effigy wearing a gold #4 jersey.

THE VIKINGS SUCK

2007-09-30T14:02:00.000-05:00

I'm not watching the game. I don't know what's going on right now. I just needed to get it out of my system. Thanks.

Update: but not as much as the Bears.

Why it's not a good idea to assume who might, or might not, be your brother in Christ

2007-09-30T13:55:00.001-05:00

Faith+Values: Hog Heaven in Apple Valley (story and pic from the StarTrib)

As an American; I'm disappointed we didn't bring home the gold

2007-09-30T13:07:00.000-05:00

As a carnivore who thinks their are only three basic sources of meat--from those that moo, oink and sometimes cluck---I find this hard to digest.

Swede crowned world oyster-opening champion
GALWAY (Reuters) - A Swede won the world oyster-opening championship on Saturday after he shucked a shellfish every five seconds with a minimum of blood and grit.

Let's see em do it where the winner has to show a maximum of blood and grit. I'd watch that.

Damage to the oyster's flesh, failure to detach it from the shell, grit or traces of human blood mean penalties for the knife-wielding competitors who have come from 16 other countries including Thailand, the United States and Estonia.

It didn't say, but I hope at least that we beat the Estonians, how embarrasing would that be.

"Oysters are the taste of the ocean and they are very pure and natural," said Canadian chef and author Patrick McMurray, a past world oyster opening champion. "It has an elemental property which just gives pure happiness to everyone."

I don't mean to rain on this guy's parade; but he should know that there's at least one person, out of the 6 billion or so on this planet, that wouldn't eat an oyster if the bluebird of happiness himself came and tried to plop one in my mouth.

I know that food snobs everywhere seem to think that presentation is huge part of the dining experience; but you know what, laying them in their own little indented niche on a plate and tossing in some little colored wormy looking things in the center, isn't going to take away the fact that they still look like slimy, gelatinous chunks of blubber. Yuck.

In one end---out the other

2007-09-29T18:26:00.001-05:00

(The Beer Store)

(Courtesy of Dave at Young Dead Elms)

Another milestone reached: baking her first apple pie

2007-09-29T18:14:00.000-05:00

Skip Oprah's club; here's Kingdavid's Book Club selection

2007-09-29T15:04:00.000-05:00

My dad had given me these two books, along with "Epicenter," which is a non-fiction book that correlates with the fictional story he has going on. There are two other books in the series---"The Ezekiel Option" and "The Copper Scroll," with another book due out in 2008. I still need to get those.

I can't say he's as good an author as say Clancy, Ludlum, Clavell, or most of my other favorites,; but, the story he tells is compelling and mirrors much of what is going on in the Middle East at this time. The underlining theme though deals mainly with biblical prophesy.

The guy has led an interesting life, met some of the most influential people in world politics (American, Israeli, Arabic, Russian) has worked extensively in Washington, and is a Messianic Jew.

Check them out if you get the chance. If you're any kind of reader, you can knock them out in no time.

I also just finished reading Tommy Tenney's "The God Chasers." Now that's a book that will have a more lasting impact on me than these fictional stories.

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world (reason 633,001)

2007-09-28T14:31:00.000-05:00

Airport to install new bathroom dividers to stop liaisons
Airport officials plan to put in new stall dividers just 2 to 3 inches above the floor, instead of as much as a foot now. The new dividers will go in two bathrooms where the airport has had complaints about sex, including the one where Craig was arrested.

The sexinlatrineaphobes are really out of line on this one. What are people who have the genetic disposition for having casual sex with complete strangers in airport bathrooms suppose to do: that's just the way they were born.

The story just came out this afternoon in the Strib; it will be interesting to see if there are any letter to the editors that hit about what an injustice this will be.

Segue: I remember driving with my brother back to Houston after golfing with his buddy in Fort Walton Beach FL. We stopped at a rest area in the middle of the night. As we were walking back to the car, one of the phones they had for travelers started to ring. Steve picked it up, and without batting an eye said "here, it's for you." I had no clue what was going on. Naturally it was some obscene call, and Steve said the guy was probably watching us from some place nearby. He evidently was born with the 'make obscene calls to travelers in rest stop area' gene.

Pulitzer Prize winning photograph

2007-09-28T12:45:00.000-05:00

A person takes part in a free yoga class at the Parque del Oeste in Madrid September 27, 2007. SPAIN)

First, a professional photographer decided, "hey, what a great shot." The second bad decision came at Reuters, when the photograph editor decided that the entire world should see the picture of some person's feet.

If this photographer is a 'starving artist,' I can see why. I suppose we'll see it again in a coffee table book.

Simon says: break out your mace

2007-09-27T15:09:00.000-05:00

A man gestures to members of the military after a crowd of thousands were fired upon while protesting in Yangon's city centre September 27, 2007.

I wasn't able to see if there was an 'after' picture; but it sure takes some major league cajones to stand in defiance like this after they've already fired on people.

Who in the wide, wide world of sports is John Cox

2007-09-27T15:03:00.000-05:00

Evidently I'm going to be casting my vote for him in 2008.

Match your candidate

John Cox 91.67% match

I blame Clint Eastwood

2007-09-27T13:14:00.001-05:00

Orangutan Fights Tourist for Her Backpack in Borneo
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia — An orangutan at a wildlife sanctuary fought with a French tourist for her backpack, leaving her bruised and scratched, an official said Tuesday.

Nordon, who managed to keep her backpack, told the New Straits Times newspaper that she thought orangutans were "friendly, cuddly creatures."

I can't begin to imagine what she'd think if she ever ran into a grizzly bear while vacationing in Yellowstone. "I thought bears just liked to steal picnic baskets."

What's with the primate crime spree going on, mugging orangutans and burglaring baboons? They are evolving, or degenerating, like humans.

This is for you sober vegans who read my blog

2007-09-26T18:23:00.000-05:00

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

(not sure on the credit, came via e-mail)

Oy ve; that's the biggest, ugliest diamond I've ever seen

2007-09-26T15:05:00.000-05:00

Caption Contest: I just could not come up with anything better, and I know it's out there.

Give me your best

We all know what the implications of this are---

2007-09-26T12:27:00.000-05:00

Parallel universes exist – study
Parallel universes really do exist, according to a mathematical discovery by Oxford scientists described by one expert as "one of the most important developments in the history of science".

A motorist who has a near miss, for instance, might feel relieved at his lucky escape. But in a parallel universe, another version of the same driver will have been killed. Yet another universe will see the motorist recover after treatment in hospital. The number of alternative scenarios is endless.

The most devastating implication of this would be---in some other universe, my exact duplicate did not win the giant gorilla in the ring toss game, went home empty-handed as usual, and is forced to accept the fact that the 'big one' is still only a pipe dream. How awful for that guy.

Jeopardy Answer is: The Vikings Suck

2007-09-26T12:21:00.000-05:00

Jeopardy question: What does Mocha-momma hear at least once a quarter when KD is watching a game.

There’s a bleacher battle going on in the blogosphere. Gino and ‘da Bears’ against Uncle Ben and PalmBoy with the Packers.

It’s a moot battle because we all know the Lions are going to turn it around and win the division running away. I’d stick up for the Vikings, but then I don’t believe hell is going to freeze over any time soon.

I’m a bandwagon fan when it comes to the Vikings. I cheer for them because they’re the home team, but I don’t loose sleep over them. There’s only one team that I put any emotion into, and that’s the Gopher hockey team.

I’m getting old. Use to be I could sit around for hours and watch baseball and football games---didn’t matter who was playing. Professional sports lost me a long time ago. I still pay attention to what’s going on though; because, quite frankly, I’m a guy, it’s in the blood.

I’m in a pick-em pool through KQRS. Right now I’m at 29-19 on my picks this season; that’s ranked 6,322 out of 16,183 participants.

I will close with this: saw this at some joke site Ben had linked in a post.

Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group." "Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.

Another episode of 'Looney Tunes,' brought to you by PETA

2007-09-25T14:41:00.000-05:00

I like animals. I might even consider applying to PETA. There's only one problem---I don't know that I could willingly undergo a lobotomy that must be part of the application process.

Protestors dressed as polar bears demonstrate on the beach against CO2 emissions during the annual Labour Party conference in Bournemouth, southern England, September 24, 2007.

A word to the wise

2007-09-25T14:35:00.000-05:00

When you meet my wife for the first time, alias Mocha-momma---her name is Katherine; never is it Kathy. You may suffer the same consequences as this gentleman.

From News of the Weird:

Megan Conroy, 18, pleaded guilty in Brisbane, Australia, in September, to assaulting a 40-year-old man in May (by kicking him in the testicles) because he had mispronounced her first name. (And if you ever meet her, it's "mee-gan," not "may-gun.") [The Age (Melbourne), 9-6-07]

What's the focal point in this picture? What do you notice first.

2007-09-25T12:42:00.000-05:00

Can anybody explain the role of this security guy standing there. Do they expect United Nation's members to rush the stage and start some mosh pit?

Finally, a protest march I'd throw the full weight of my support behind.

2007-09-25T12:21:00.000-05:00

Just about every day I check out some news sites that have pictures from around the world. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that nearly every day there is a picture of some protest going on somewhere. You know how I use to keep tabs of the AKJ events and cruise ship mishaps; I almost started keeping tabs of the protest of the day. Well, here's one protest where I'd join right in:

Seniors balk at ban on free doughnuts
They wore sandwich boards proclaiming, "Give Us Our Just Desserts" and "They're Carbs, Not Contraband."

Wearing protest signs, from left, Geoff Lock, Margaret Colesanti and Ann Donegan stage a pro-doughnut demonstration at the Koehler Senior Center in Mahopac, N.Y., Thursday, Sept. 13, 2007. At issue is a decision to refuse free doughnuts, pies and breads that were being donated to senior centers around Putnam County. Officials were concerned that the county was setting a bad nutritional precedent by providing mounds of doughnuts and other sweets to seniors. (AP Photo/The Journal News, Joe Larese )

I have a hard enough time listening to Mocha-momma when she tries to dictate what I'm putting into my mouth. "Did you check your blood sugar level; you can only have it if it's under 120."

No way I would put up with some dimwitted, low-level county employee trying to dictate what I'll eat. I wouldn't put up with it while I'm 50; I sure wouldn't put up with it in my 70's, like these people. I can't remember which blog I read that always talks about "the nanny state," that's what this is.

First it's going to be sweets; next thing you know they'll outlaw blogging as detrimental to your health. They need to nip this in the bud now.

Way to take one for the team

2007-09-24T14:43:00.000-05:00

I don't know; looks to me like he's leaning into this. I hope this guy doesn't leave everything he has on the field.

To hurt a guy, you go after the jewels. To hurt a woman, you go for:

They could have been describing my rugby teammates from years ago

2007-09-24T14:33:00.000-05:00

"They get into the kitchens, they know where the fridge is, they open it and take everything, and then they defecate everywhere."

Apes Blamed For Crime Spree
South Africa's crime problem has taken a new twist.
A gang of baboons is being blamed for a series of break-ins.

You would think that these, these animals, would have evolved into decent, rational thinking, mother gaiea loving primates by now. Why can't they act more like their evolutionary brethren, the human race. Wait a minute, sorry, they are acting like an awful lot of humans aren't they--the heathens.

I am "The Lord of the Ring Toss"

2007-09-23T20:43:00.000-05:00

It has been my goal---nay, my obsession---to win a huge stuffed animal at a carny game. It didn't matter where the opportunity arose: Valley Fair, the amusement park at the Mall of America, a county fair, even some rinky dink carnival during the 4th of July.

Oh, I won little things from time to time; but, it didn't satisfy my hunger. At first, Mocha-momma could not fathom this innate need of mine to conquer this Mt. Everest of carnival games. She could not believe I would spend $10-15 bucks throwing ping-pong balls at floating cups, or trying to land a wiffle ball in a colored space without dropping down a losing hole, or taking a basketball shot at a basket with the rim about one centimeter larger than the diameter of the ball. Eventually it turned into a family joke, and she lightened up on me about this addiction I had. I always told her, once I hit the big one, I would retire.

Well, I hit the big one.

We had our company picnic today at Valley Fair amusement park. I had my addiction under control. I had only spent $2 bucks for 7 balls on the wiffle ball toss. That was going to be it. Then, walking pass the ring toss game, I put my hand in my pocket and came up with 4 quarters. One dollar for 5 chances at the big one. MM gave me the nod to go for it. The first three clanked around the bottles and dropped harmlessly in between. I said a quick prayer, and lo and behold, BAM, right on the money. I casually tossed the last one, and heard those words I've been waiting to hear for years---which color monkey do you want?

Give me the purple, it will match the decor in Hannah's room.

Probably hundreds of dollars spent pursuing the big one.

Seeing the look on Hannah's face when I showed it to her later: PRICELESS.

Life's simple pleasures are the best

2007-09-22T17:37:00.000-05:00

Johnny Appleseed Prayer
The Lord is good to me
And so I thank the Lord
For giving me
The things I need
The sun, the rain and the apple seed.
The lord is good to me

A scouting standard. I'm sure Palmboy must have sung this a few times. A good song to sing while out on a date with my 3 girls---apple picking. JR is off at Boy Scout camp until Sunday morning.

It's a mad,mad,mad,mad world: reason 5,432,825

2007-09-21T14:56:00.000-05:00

From News of the Weird

Army officer Bryan Hilferty, a volunteer Little League umpire in Alexandria, Va., complained to The Washington Post in July that when he requested a copy of the League rulebook (to help him be a better umpire), he was turned down. Hilferty, who has access to classified information in his job at the Pentagon, was told that the Little League restricts its rulebooks, on a "need to know" basis, so as not to invite litigation, and that Hilferty did not qualify. [Washington Post, 7-29-07]

Little League. Need to know.

The inmates are running the asylum.

Saw this at Vox Day's site

2007-09-20T15:50:00.000-05:00

Take a Civics Test.

You answered 47 out of 60 correctly — 78.33 %
Average score for this quiz during September: 75.2%
Average score since September 18, 2007: 75.2%

Ouch, C+ in civics. It was tough though. Plan on a little time.

Hypothetical question for Gino

2007-09-20T14:31:00.000-05:00

God has graciously come to you and said you can do it all over again. He makes you a young man and says you can achieve fame and glory in your life; but, you have to make a choice between two options.

Will it be in A. The performing arts.

Or B. International rugby

What in the world are you gonna choose?

He must definitely be a relative of 'the father of lies'

2007-09-20T12:46:00.000-05:00

Paying dearly to hear Gore's climate story
After his salutations, Mr Gore got down to business. The ballooning world population and the dizzying pace of technological change had helped turn mankind into an environmental "bull in a china shop", he said.

It's bad enough for him that there are scientists galore who are disproving his global warming-the sky is falling campaign (500 scientists refute global warming dangers), but this proves that he's a liar when it comes to spouting cliches as well.

Anyone for a McPike sandwich

2007-09-19T19:48:00.001-05:00

I don't think this should be counted as a catch. I think the fish committed suicide.

This bad boy was caught on Rainy lake!! This is the new record in Canada. Check this thing out.. The last picture is unbelievable! This guy (in the photos below), was fishing and caught a 36" Pike. As he was reeling it in, a 56" Pike tried to eat it! He brought them both in on the same net. Awesome catch on a river in Canada - 55lbs - 56 inches.

Right up the road from Mediocre Marais

2007-09-19T13:00:00.000-05:00

John, the Night Writer, posted about a wonderful time he had in Grand Marais MN recently (here). MM and I have been to that beautiful town a couple of times ourselves; but the reason for going was not what we would have ever chosen.

My Goddaughter, April, died from Leukemia when she was 25. Her aunt from my sister-in-law’s side lived in Grand Marais, and April loved it up there, particularly the lighthouse area. When her body had been cremated, we took the ashes up to the lighthouse point and had a memorial service for her amidst a little area of trees right next to the lake. It was a surprise when I met the minister who led the service---he was a frat brother of mine at Gustavus, and it had been about 20 years since I had seen him last. We went to visit the site again a few years later; but haven’t been back since. We’ll have to put that on our list of trips and get up there again soon.

John was right on about getting up there before the peak fall colors show. Years ago, pre-MM, a friend and I decided to go up and enjoy a fall weekend along the Norwegian Riviera, or North Shore to the rest of us. We started looking for hotels in Duluth, then drove up about as far as Lutsen; but we could not find any hotels that had a room available. We were told that nearly all the hotels are booked one year in advance for the peak color season in September. We decided to head back, and cut over into Wisconsin and drive back to the cities on that side of the river. Well, just as we’re almost out of Duluth, we saw some old hotel that had a vacancy sign on, and it turns out it had one room left. The highlight of the weekend was going up to Hawk Ridge and hanging around with a bunch of amateur ornithologists who were there to witness the annual hawk migration; unfortunately, the only hawk we saw was the one tethered to a perch. To me, it was somewhat of a wasted afternoon standing on a ridge. To them, it was probably just another fun day at the office.

Animal Kingdom Bloggers have a get together

2007-09-19T12:56:00.000-05:00

There's King Panda, Night Panda, Surly Panda and Hammerpanda. I think this was taken at Night Panda's place during a Super Bowl party.

Do Your Best

2007-09-18T18:24:00.001-05:00

The Cub Scout motto. That's what I tried to do for six years as a scout leader, four of them as cubmaster. Last night was the kick-off pack meeting for the new year, and the cubmaster who succeeded me asked if I would come by so that we could let the boys see that a transition had taken place. That was only part of it though. The pack leaders also wanted to say thanks, and presented me with a beautiful walking stick that has the Boy Scout emblem on it, and they also burned my name, cubmaster and the years 2001-2007 into it. I love it. I'm going to miss the Cub Scouts; but I am planning to continue on with the Boy Scouts in some type of capacity. I will keep you posted on that.

The hiking stick has a proud history with the scouts, and it all began with Lord Robert Baden-Powell. Click on the pic to see a close-up.

KIND OF!!!!!!

2007-09-18T15:03:00.000-05:00

Ore. man puts snake in his mouth, nearly dies
A Portland man nearly died after putting a pet rattlesnake into his mouth to show off for friends.

“It's actually kind of my own stupid fault,” he told KGW.

I'd like to hear the reasons he could give that would put the fault on anybody else on this planet. I'm sure there are any number of liberal organizations that could come up with ways to blame somebody except the dimwit who did it. Of course drinking was a part of the story; but man, even in my partying days, I think that the idea of sticking a rattlesnake in my mouth would have had a sobering affect.

Some days you feel like the dog---Some days you're the cat

2007-09-18T15:01:00.000-05:00

They should pass a law, only James Earl Jones can narrate audio books

2007-09-17T20:49:00.000-05:00

I've never enjoyed listening to books on tape, or cd's; and if I had my druthers, I never would subject myself to it. In the last 24 hours though, I have been forced to hear two different audio books from very different genres.

JR has been listening to Harry Potter books for a while now. He's read them all, he just really enjoys listening to books on tape as well. Right now he's listening to Half-blood Prince. I wouldn't say the guy reading it has the greatest voice; but, he does a good job of trying to change the voices and inserts inflection as needed throughout the reading. JR usually listens in his room; but, today he had it on out in the kitchen, so I heard a bit of it.

The second book is one that our marriage group has been listening to, and we had a get together last night. It's called Love and Respect, and the guy reading it is the author. I understand that the content is different, and that it's not meant to sweep you up into a wonderful fictional tale; but, I wish the guy would try and spice it up a little bit. He drones on in a flat, monotone voice through the entire reading. We had a chili dinner right before listening; so having a full stomach, and listening to this guy's voice just about knocked me out cold within minutes.

I just can't concentrate on a story if someone else is reading it. To really grasp the content, or be immersed into the tale, I just have to read it myself and let my own mind and imagination absorb what's being presented on the pages. I've said it before---of all the talents out there, it's the novelist that I appreciate the most---and when I read something that another individual has dreamed up in their own mind, I want my mind focused on that and no other outside distractions, like whether or not the guy reading it sounds like Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

The Best of the Best, Sir.

2007-09-17T13:09:00.000-05:00

Gino posted on his 10 favorite movies. Remember these are our favorites; not the best of all time. I'm just going with the first 10 that come to my mind. These are movies that I have and will continue to watch any time they come on. I'm sure I will remember others later; but these would still be up in the top 20.

No particular order

The hills are alive, with the sound of mooooooooosic.

2007-09-16T13:06:00.000-05:00

This must be the Elizabeth Taylor of cowdom. She doesn't just wear normal bells, she has to wear the most ostentatious bell she can find. I drive by numerous dairy farms, and even a farm with a herd of buffaloes, on my way to work; but, I can't say I've ever seen any of the bovines dressed up like they were going to prom.

Dating cows is kind of odd, but I don't think it's quite as strange as this fetish.

Man with apparent foot fetish nabbed
A man stopped a woman as she walked to her car in downtown St. Paul early Saturday, demanded that she remove her shoes and then licked her toes and feet.

Of course, this guy doesn't begin to reach the level of weirdness that this guy has reached. From News of the Weird.

Ric Hoogestraat is married to Sue and works at a call center in the Phoenix area but spends 30-plus hours a week inside the online Second Life video game, pretending that he is the digitally drawn Dutch Hoorenbeek, a 6-foot-9, muscular babe magnet who lives on his own island. That unnerves Sue, according to an August Wall Street Journal profile, especially since Dutch recently "married" a digital woman and set up housekeeping with their two digital dogs. (The real-life creator of the new Mrs. Hoorenbeek has never met Ric and says she never will.) Dutch and his wife spend hours shopping and motorcycling together, leaving Ric little time for Sue. "Is this man cheating on his wife (meaning Sue)?" the Journal asked. Lamented Sue: "You try to talk to (Ric) or bring (him) a drink, and (he)'ll be having sex with a cartoon." [Wall Street Journal, 8-10-07]

I would say that having some sort of fantasy life is fairly normal; but this guy does seem to have crossed a line in their marriage. It would seem to me he is cheating on an emotional and mental level, if not physically. I'm glad I don't let this kind of fantasy stuff control my behaviors. Gotta run, Bathsheba is calling her king.

Beauty and the Beast

2007-09-16T09:06:00.000-05:00

In my wildest dreams, I never imagined it could happen to us---an AKJ attack right in our very home.

Mocha-momma and I were in our bedroom at the end of the evening. We had the tv on, she had been on the internet looking for a recipe; I was alternating between watching Men in Black II and reading. She stood up to go out of the room, and then it happened.

It came silent and deadly, we had no idea it was there. MM suddenly let out a scream of pure terror. She was frozen in place, much like Lot's wife must have looked after being turned into the pillar of salt. I glanced away from the screen, even though it was a good part of the movie. Her trembling, quivering voice cried out to me to come rescue her.

I looked next to my bed for any kind of weapon to use against this spawn of satan, who had targeted us in its diabolical, evil plot. Luckily for me, I did have something. I grabbed the scrap of paper towel that was lying there and vaulted the queen size bed in one mighty leap. Just before it was able to attack and go at MM's throat, I pounced and got the paper towel over it just in time. One mighty squeeze from my powerful hands, and it was vanquished. The real King David couldn't have done it better.

That's one cricket who will no longer be able to target innocents in it's terror campaign. To the jihadists out there, I say never again. To Mocha-momma, to whom I had actually said "for crying out loud, it's a cricket, just pick it up," and got an earful from, I now say---don't go off on your husband, the blogger, if you don't want others to hear about your fear of tiny insects.

(p.s. this is all in jest, although I'm sure the payback will be hell)

When the girls are away, the boys will play

2007-09-15T17:15:00.000-05:00

Hannah is off at Girl Scout camp. MM is off at a face-painting job. So, JR and I took a little quality time for the boys. We went out for lunch, saw the latest Harry Potter movie, and for the finale---Cabelas.

We still haven't gotten JR a rifle yet; but he did complete the safety course. Just as Gino suggested, the guy there showed us a Ruger 22 as a recommendation for a first gun. I was pleasantly surprised that it was listed at $189. JR is also interested in getting into archery. The guy in that dept. showed us a Genesis brand that he said he outfits all the scout groups with. That was the main goal, to find out what we're looking at for JR; but, we also had one other item of interest that we wanted to check out.

Mocha-momma has become obsessed with starting a family hobby that she's been hearing about for a while, and after a breakfast with some friends from church who we found out were into it as well, she's really keen on it. What is it?----Geocaching.

We're starting to check out GPS systems, and so far the Garmin brand seems to be the frontrunner. I'm sure you'll be hearing about this endeavor some time soon. We're hoping to maybe do a little bit of it before the snow starts falling.

I think Delano was trying to attack Rockford

2007-09-15T08:45:00.000-05:00

Oddest thing in the hometown yesterday. For a few hours all cell phones and internet connections were down. We have T-Mobile; but I guess all providers were out. I drove Hannah to Girl Scout Camp, which is about 5 miles away, and the phone worked fine.

Can anybody explain why all cell phones and internet would be down in a space as limited as our town? It takes like 3 minutes to drive through, if you hit the lights. I'm not sure how that works. If there was one main focal point that went down, wouldn't you think it would affect a far bigger area? Just curious.

Groom Your Pallbearers

2007-09-14T22:04:00.000-05:00

I heard a speaker once say that we need to groom our pallbearers. Think about it. If you die today who would carry your casket. Wouldn't it be sad if you had so few friends and family that the church would have to supply these people!

And so starts the blogging career of a good friend of mine who finally decided to throw his hat in the ring. Dave, and his wife Naomi, have been following my blog for a while now, and Dave gives me a lot of ideas for posts. Now he'll be able to use them himself. Naomi is a fan of Cathy in the Wright.

Dave will definitely be posting from a Christian perspective; but, he's also up on the political scene locally. He lives in the Hennepin county part of Rockford, just across the river from us. (Rockford is part Wright county, part Hennepin, the dividing line being the Crow River, that might change soon though) I know he's been active in the Republican party from our town in the past.

Anyway, drop in and say hi to Dave. He knows most of you. Check out Young Dead Elms (which will be explained when you get there)

They've gone way too far this time

2007-09-14T10:34:00.000-05:00

They've threatened our military, our political leaders, our financial institutions---our very way of life---but they've really stepped over the line with this threat.

Terrorists: We'll cut off head of 'prostitute' Britney Spears
Madonna also targeted by jihad leaders who warn of 'spreading satanic culture'

When they target America's untalented, habitual rehab patient, going off the deep end pop-culture icons, we need to say enough is enough.

Speaking of responses to terrorists, have you seen this:

Switcheroo: U.S. minister sends videotape to Osama
Warns he's damned to hell if he doesn't repent, convert

This guy needs to learn to say what's on his mind; holding in his feelings could be harmful. One of the hardest requirements of Christianity---how do you send a message like this in a loving way. I don't have Osama on my daily prayer list; and unfortunately, I don't think he's going to be on it any time soon. I wonder what would happen if every Christian in the world prayed for him---not that he lose his head---but that he does repent and turn to Jesus. (With God, all things are possible)

Give Blood---Play Rugby

2007-09-13T18:53:00.000-05:00

The World Cup of rugby is going on right now. Ahh, the glory days. I played for a number of years back when. We had a club team at Gustavus Adolphus College; then, after graduation, a bunch of us who were still around the Twin Cities started a team called the Metro Rugby Club.

When I started playing none of us were really up on the exact rules or intricacies of the game. Basically we knew that if some guy on the other team had the ball, you would hit him as hard as you could; and, if you had the ball, some guy would try and hit you as hard as he could, unless you got off a lateral or kicked it. Basically, we'd go nuts on the other team, and when the ref blew the whistle, we'd stop and wait for him to tell us what was going to happen next. We did grasp the game after a while, and had a great time playing. Not only was it fun hitting people as hard as you could, without wearing pads; but, after the game, the home team bought the keg, and you drank arm-in-arm and sang songs with some guy you just tried to annihilate a short time before.

Alas, my rugby playing days came to an end on the fields at Fort Snelling during a tournament. I got wholloped waiting for kicked ball to fall into my arms (no fair catches) and had a sterno-clavicular dislocation. I can't remember what happened the next season, but I didn't play again.

See the guy who's having his neck broken in this picture, #2, does anybody know the name of the position that this guy plays?

See this physical specimen with the grimace, see the arms on that guy; well, believe it or not, back in my prime, when I was playing, my legs looked exactly like that.

Add another rule to the list for camping

2007-09-13T12:07:00.000-05:00

We all should know not to keep food in your tent. What you don't know---don't wear cologne if you're going to hang around the campfire.

Milwaukee Man Sues Makers of Brut After Cologne Ignites on Camping Trip
MILWAUKEE — An 81-year-old Milwaukee man has sued the makers of Brut cologne after it ignited and burned parts of his hands, chest and neck.

He washed and shaved in a bathhouse on the camp grounds and applied Brut lotion to his face, neck and chest with his hands. He also used the aerosol deodorant. He then went to a fire pit to cook breakfast.

"Our view is there is no warning that after you apply it, you remain flammable for some period of time," Hanrahan told the newspaper. "You aren't thinking, 'I'm still flammable."'

I'm sorry for the guy, burns have to be one of the worst things a human body has to endure; but, c'mon, what kind of guy wears cologne out in the woods camping? I don't know for a fact, but wouldn't cologne simply be an attracting odor to bugs, or even bears. I don't know. What do you need to smell good for? I thought the whole idea of camping was to rough it; and that includes being stinky, sweaty and disheveled on purpose, and not giving a rat's ass who smells you.

I hope Jonathan learns a valuable lesson from this post---he's a camper through and through. He likes Axe though, I wonder if that's flammable.

I haven't worn cologne in years; but back in high school and college, I was a High Karate man. I imagine that men's cologne has gone through a lot of changes since then. Let's take a poll, how many of you guys wore High Karate in your day?

Out of this world pics

2007-09-12T20:49:00.000-05:00

I feel so violated

2007-09-12T19:20:00.000-05:00

It's kind of the same feeling I get when somebody else's dog comes and dumps in my yard and they don't pick up after it. Some anonymous troll left some comments.

Evidently I don't have a clue, nor appreciate the artistic genius, of someone who would hang themselves from hooks that they've pierced through their body. Aside from demonstrating that they have a high pain threshold, I don't exactly see the talent. Bob Ross painting his own little world of landscapes is more an artist than some demented individual who thinks masochism is an art form. I wonder how talented this guy thinks the "artist" that made meatballs out of his own liposuctioned body fat is. I guess he'd rank right up there with Michelanglo.

Also, I'm pathetic because I've never felt any inclination to go out and master any particular topics so that I can get involved in meaningless debates that never will be resolved in ours, or anybody's, lifetimes. Some people enjoy debating for the sake of debating, whether it's about evolution, homosexuality, politics, global warming, yada-yada-yada. My faith is in God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, along with His written revelation, the Bible; not in my intellectual ability to debate and understand every single issue in the Design vs Evolution debate. I'm not a Christian apologist. That does not mean I don't read and learn as much as I can about the impact on Christianity of things happening in science, archaeology, history, etc. For the vast majority of people, what to believe re: these disciplines comes from making decisions on who do you believe, not on what you've gone out and studied yourself. I have my hands full trying to master being a disciple of Christ, a husband, a father, a ministry leader, a community volunteer, a good employee---I don't have the need, desire or calling to try and master some scientific discipline so that I can convince some non-believer that God actually created the universe by design; I do have the calling to stand before a group of cub scouts and encourage them about God's great love for them and that he has a special calling and purpose for their lives.

The troll basically said that the depth of my faith was a joke because I didn't feel the need to get into a debate with people who take the design vs evolution debate far more seriously than I do. What an idiotic statement. The depth of my faith isn't being developed because I'm trying to understand the ramifications of the fossil record on either side of the endless debate; it's being developed through the refining fire of circumstances that has me on my knees before God, seeking His face, and learning to obey His commandments and will for me and my family.

Saw this at Evangelical Outpost

2007-09-12T12:40:00.000-05:00

Click on logo to see web site.

It's going to be held at the Las Vegas Convention Center; which brings up some very interesting thoughts.

Exactly how many major Christian events does the Las Vegas Convention Bureau try and book each year? I'm sure the casinos must lobby like crazy to get them.
Beside hitting all the great buffets, exactly where will these people be spending their money while in town?
Will the Bellagio come up with a new attraction: The Parting of the Fountain?

Lets just hope there's no stripper's convention going on at the same time. That would make for an interesting few days.

This is amazing

2007-09-12T12:29:00.000-05:00

Now, if only raccoons and squirrels could learn this trick, it might save their species from extinction.

Why I love living in a small town, USA. (Reason # 2,352) Downtown Rockford, rush hour, 9/11.

2007-09-11T18:30:00.000-05:00

I have no major feelings about this day. Since 9/11/2001, there have been countless tragedies played out every single day. Most of them I've only witnessed via tv or the internet; some of them have hit close to home. I'm not eloquent enough to express any type of sentiments re: the tragedy of life. I am, however, optimistic enough to know that surrounding the tragedies there are also countless tales of comedy, joy, good and great deeds of humanity, and an overwhelming abundance of nonsense that still makes life enjoyable and worth carrying on.

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

I know people wear some pretty funky stuff at the beach; but, this hat is just ridiculous

2007-09-11T14:30:00.000-05:00

When God was handing out mechanical skills and love of cars: I was notably absent

2007-09-11T12:35:00.001-05:00

Quick hint---when trying to carry on a conversation with me about cars; don't bother. All my life, whenever this happens, I simply nod my head over and over and hope that the subject will get changed soon. This basically happens when I'm talking to guys who assume that because I'm male, I must have knowledge of every car ever made and the difference between engines. They also mis-assume that I care about the subject. Sorry, I don't. I know where oil goes, that's the extent of my mechanical skills. As far as any other type of appreciation for cars, as long as it gets me from point A to point B, that's a good car.

I think there are vehicles that are extremely ugly (the Element comes to mind), and some that have a beautiful and timeless look that I can appreciate (Jaguars). I won't go out of my way to visit a car show; but I happened to run across this, and thought some of you motorheads might enjoy a look.

World's biggest car show

My, how times have changed. Remember when MPG was the primary selling point; or, that you could fit the entire hockey team in your vehicle, along with equipment. Now, it's how much CO2 output does it have.

I'm gonna talk to MM and see about trading in our Town & Country mini-van for this. The kids should be fine in the trunk.

Gino, any of your clan from Piobbico, Italy?

2007-09-10T20:42:00.000-05:00

Italy's ugly club defies convention (from a 2003 article)

For this town - population 2,000 - is home to Italy's Club dei Brutti - or Ugly Club.

On the first Sunday of every September, hundreds of people gather in the main square for a rather unusual ceremony.

It is the annual Festival of the Ugly, in which the club's new president will be elected.
The head of a wild boar - the club's emblem - is mounted over a door. The club's crest features a reclining man smoking a pipe with the slogan: "Ugliness is a virtue, beauty is slavery."

Click on the logo to check out their official web site. (BTW, it will help if you can read Italian)

The newly elected President of World Association of Ugly People Roberta Iacobelli celebrates in Piobbico's town center, Italy, September 9, 2007. The members of the World Association of Ugly People elect their own president during the annual "Festival of the Ugly" held in the small town of Piobbico in the Marche region every September.

Somewhere it said that there are 20,000 members worldwide, I wonder if they're all Italian. I think there's a club that was founded in Poland that has thousands of members worldwide, I think it's called MENSA. (sorry, I haven't given Gino a hard time in a while, when I saw the pictures and story on this, I couldn't resist)

More Pictures

Same planet---Completely different worlds

2007-09-09T18:56:00.001-05:00

At what point in this guy's life did he determine that he'd like to start sticking snakes us his nose and have them come out of his mouth. I use to catch little garden snakes when I was a kid; but, I'd just let them go. It never crossed my mind to stick them up any of the orifices in my body.

Is there any type of "performance art" that does not require the artist to be totally insane?

Not quite sure why Tiger Lilly is milking a moose; must be some kind of missions thing.

2007-09-08T14:59:00.000-05:00

(Just kidding, it's not T.L.; but I did a quick double-take when I saw the picture)

What would you get if you crossed Rocky the Flying Squirrel and Bullwinkle? Rockwinkle, the Flying Moose. I loved the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. Is that still on any cable channel?

I'm gonna plan a new MOB event; who's in

2007-09-07T20:22:00.000-05:00

Revellers covered in grease take part in the annual 'Cascamorras' festival in Baza, southern Spain, September 6, 2007. The festival was inspired by the dispute between the villages of Baza and Guadix over the possession of the image of the Virgin of Piedad. The Cascamorras refers to representatives from Guadix who are sent to the town of Baza to recover the statue. As the Cascamorras have to stay perfectly clean to gain possession of the statue, Baza residents attempt to make them as 'dirty' as possible. (SPAIN)

I figure we can get two sides together---I'll captain one team and Ben can captain the other---then we'll battle in some mud pit to try and gain possession of Madonna's Like a Virgin CD.

Seriously, I don't think it could match the Rockford Riverdays festivities; but, it looks like a fun way to spend the day.

I might start a mail order business

2007-09-07T19:45:00.000-05:00

From News of the Weird (I might even upgrade it to 'insane')

And in Chappaqua, N.Y., the owner of the Via Genova water bar told WCBS-TV in July that she offers 80 different bottled waters from around the world, with the most popular at $30 and "Bling H2O" priced at $55, but hopes business picks up: "There are so many people that are uneducated about water." [WCBS-TV (New York City), 7-14-07]

I'm gonna start selling "Ding-a-ling H2O" and price it at $100. As usual, I'll get NightWriter working on the marketing. I wonder if we should make it our mission in life to educate people about water. Wait a minute, it is our mission to educate people about water.

John 4:10 Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."

AKJ event: was it a lion, a tiger, or bear? (oh my)

2007-09-07T12:25:00.000-05:00

Nope, it was a snake. If I recall correctly, death by snakes was one of the leaders in my previous tally board of the Animal Kingdom Jihad.

Cancer Patient Fatally Bitten by Snake on Hospital Bed in Thailand
BANGKOK, Thailand — A cancer patient lying on a gurney waiting to be treated was fatally bitten by a snake, a hospital in western Thailand said Friday.
A pit viper bit the man last week at Kanchanaburi Memorial Hospital in Kanchanaburi province, 70 miles west of Bangkok. He died on Tuesday, four days after the snake bit.
Gurneys at the hospital, in a semi-rural area, usually are laid outside the hospital buildings to wait for incoming patients, and the snake apparently slithered onto the gurney when it was outdoors.

I can just hear a spokesman for the Herpetology Society---"pit vipers don't usually crawl out of the jungle, slither onto gurneys, and bite incapacitated medical patients." Ya wouldn't think so would ya.

I really dislike snakes. I'm glad we live in an area where they are no problem.

The worst situation I ever found myself in with snakes was a long time ago when I was working in a group home with a couple of mentally disabled gentlemen. One of the guys, I can't remember his name, was always saying to me: "Dave, look, over there, snake Dave, big snake." He would say it everytime I was with him, whether we were in the home or out and about. The scary thing was, I never knew if the invisible snake was there following me, or if it was following him.

My fan has spoken

2007-09-06T18:38:00.000-05:00

Tiger Lilly made a comment that she will miss the AKJ stories; so, in order not to lose one of my dearest readers, I vow to continue posting on the Animal Kingdom Jihad. I will not, however, continue to track the totals as I did previously.

Vizzini didn’t list them all

2007-09-06T17:53:00.000-05:00

You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha... (trivia, what movie is this from)

Before he died, he didn’t get to say an even lesser known blunder. Don’t get involved in a Faith vs Science debate with people who take it far more seriously than you do. That’s a mistake I made at Steve’s Careful Thought II site.

Steve posts occasionally on the Old Earth Creationist versus Young Earth Creationist debate, and it’s a subject I enjoy reading about. I’ve always tended toward the YEC myself; but then again, I’ve never really delved into the subject enough to be able to debate all the finer points. I admit I made a somewhat flippant remark re: the side that evolutionists play in the overall debate of Faith vs Science, which didn’t sit too well with one of Steve’s commenters. Oh well.

Which brings me to the point---in the over all scheme of things, is any one voice crying out in the wilderness really going to make any type of difference in some of these major issue debates going on in the world? Whether it’s faith vs science, liberal vs conservative, pro-choice vs pro-life, vegan vs meat-eater, Rosie vs Donald, et al; there will never, ever, be a consensus reached on the truth of the matter. I’m not saying it’s a futile gesture to debate these issues; but what exactly is the purpose of these debates in God’s overall plan?

I’ve never had the inclination to go out and really become some master of any particular topic; neither do I have the intellectual capacity to go out and win a debate with anybody who is gung-ho on a topic. I generally know enough on any number of different issues to be dangerous; sort of a jack-of-all trades, master of none type mentality. I'll defend my faith in God for my own reasons; I'm not about to try to defend the entire faith against the intellectualism and mindset of the world.

Steve does a great job of continually hammering home the point that none of this debate supersedes the message of the cross and Christ’s redemptive work, and that’s where I’m going to stay from now on. I’m going to follow Paul’s simple rule: “I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." That should keep me out of trouble for a while.

Doctor's Log; Stardate 9/5/2007

2007-09-05T21:08:00.000-05:00

He was on a 15 minute mission, and he boldly went where no man has ever gone before. Luckily, the doctor had visited many other galaxies in the past; and he was able to maneuver his way around without causing any discomfort in my galaxy. He did find one alien polyp, which he was able to remove without incident. Overall, the mission was a success, and it turned out to be not as bad an experience as I thought it might be.

I would have preferred to drink about 4 liters of tang, versus that GoLytely stuff; but, I sucked it all down in preparation for the voyage of the starship Colonprise.

I have to say that the spiritual colonoscopy that God has been performing on me recently has been far more uncomfortable than this one. In both cases though, I do feel much more cleansed, and am now far healthier than I have been in the past.

Getting out of the boat

2007-09-05T10:24:00.000-05:00

Matthew 14:
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
28 "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
29 "Come," he said.

We all know what happened next, Peter failed. Well, not exactly. He did walk on water. It was only when he took his eyes off Jesus that he began to sink; but, Jesus caught him, and didn't let him go under.

We are stepping out of the boat as well.

Most of you know that Mocha-Momma was filling in as the church secretary after the associate pastor who had been doing all the office work left. It was a temporary fix until a new person was hired; and, since MM was on summer break from her job at the elementary school, pastor asked if she would fill in.

It turned out that, for many reasons, MM loved it. When time came to apply for the position, we prayerfully considered all the implications that would come with her taking the job, and decided to have her go for it. She did apply and interview; although, in the back of her mind, she thought someone would come along better qualified who would get it. Well, she was wrong.

Pastor called her on Sunday night and offered the position to her. It was a unanimous choice by the selection committee. Oh my, we were still sitting in the boat, looking at the benefits of stepping out in faith, but also seeing the dangers that came along with it (i.e. financial ramifications). Now, we had to make the decision. Well, we're taking the step.

MM accepted the position, and put in her notice at the school. That was one of the hardest parts of this, the timing. Getting offered the position two days prior to school starting was not the best scenario. She had attended training sessions last week, and knowing that she couldn't say anything yet to her boss and co-workers was hard. She did tell them yesterday, and evidently none of them took it very well.

The hard, cold, fact of the matter is this though---we feel strongly this was a door opened by God; we feel it is the culmination of a long, hard summer of lessons that God had been working on us; and, we feel that this is a test of faith, and as long as we keep our eyes on Jesus, we will also walk on water, in spite of all the circumstances that are going on around us.

Planning for retirement

2007-09-04T18:08:00.000-05:00

Ephesians 4:11: It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers---and some to be hula hoop entertainers.

Sept. 3: Chrystal Coronas performs her hoop routine at the Circus Hollywood at the New York State Fair in Geddes, N.Y.

I can picture our Hannah doing this in about 15 years. She'll be in the Cirque du Soleil, making megabucks as a star hula hoop performer, and supporting mom and dad in their retirement.

Hannah is a natural hoopster. Over the last few years, she has won every hula hoop contest she has been in--from competitions in the Girl Scouts to our town festival. This last year, at our Riverdays Festival, she won while holding on to and eating a snowcone.

I'm always amazed at some of these performers that you see in circuses, etc, and how they can turn seemingly trivial talents into a career. The first thing that comes to mind is a woman I saw on a Cirque du Soleil show one time; she balanced and juggled umbrellas with her feet while lying on her back. Another guy is Dazzlin Dave, International Yo-Yo Master. I hired him a couple of times to come in and perform at our Blue/Gold Banquets in the Cub Scouts. The guy gets $200/hour to do something he loves to do.

Of course, you tend to forget the countless hours that they've spent reaching the level of expertise which allows them to command the big bucks. I think I'll have to start pushing Hannah to practice the hula hoop every day. I can be the Earl Woods of the hula hooping world, and Hannah will be the hooping Tiger Woods.

I think I found a long lost relative of Cathy in the Wright

2007-09-04T17:50:00.000-05:00

Texas Woman Claims to Have Found Mythical 'Chupacabra'

Phylis Canion lived in Africa for four years. She's been a hunter all her life and has the mounted heads of a zebra and other exotic animals in her house to prove it. But the roadkill she found last month outside her ranch was a new one even for her, worth putting in a freezer hidden from curious onlookers: Canion believes she may have the head of the mythical, bloodsucking chupacabra.

Forget the mythical, bloodsucking creature idea, I think its just related to this ugly mutt.

The $64,000 question---what do these things taste like? Chicken.

How NOT to end your summer vacation

2007-09-03T22:27:00.000-05:00

8:00 p.m., Labor Day. 12 hours till the start of the new school year. You've survived bike crashes, summer camp, climbing trees, and all the other challenges and situations that an adventurous 12 year old can find himself in over the course of a whole summer. What gets you in the end is a simple game of badminton with your dad, and a hole that some varmint dug in the back yard of friends from church.

It was our very last volley of the game, and then we were going to be leaving the party. I hit the last shot towards JR on the other side, and turned to start back and get our stuff. I heard a blood-curdling scream from JR, who was laid out on the ground in agony. When I got to him, I couldn't believe my eyes. His kneecap was totally over on the outside part of his leg. It just looked so bizarre, I wasn't sure exactly what I was seeing.

Our friend called 911, and probably within about 5 minutes the ambulance showed up. The EMT was able to straighten his leg and get the kneecap back in place. As soon as he did that, the pain lessened quite a bit, and he started breathing easier. They said he should get an x-ray, to make sure nothing was broken and that the ligaments and tendons were ok. We decided to let him ride in the ambulance; which turned out to be a good idea, because he got in, taken care of, and was out the door in no time. If we had driven him we would probably still be sitting in the waiting room with all the other people who were there.

He is going to have to wear a leg immobilizer for about a week; at least until he gets checked out again by an orthopedist. Not exactly the way he'd want to start the new year at school. Hopefully his buddies will cut him some slack.

Who are these people? We know whose they are.

2007-09-02T16:02:00.000-05:00

Mocha-momma could have done a better job on the face painting

2007-09-02T14:50:00.000-05:00

He will swallow up death forever, And the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces; The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; For the Lord has spoken. (Isaiah 25:8)

Okay, I have absolutely nothing against the guy shedding some tears for Diana. She obviously meant a great deal to him, for whatever reason. Real men can cry over the loss of someone special to them; maybe not 10 years later, but hey, I can still get teary when I think about Old Yeller getting shot.

What I do have a problem with is a guy who looks like he's in his 30's or 40's getting face-painted. Okay dude, that has crossed some really bizarre line. If you're going to a soccer match right after the memorial service and you're cheering for Team Diana, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.